Meditation Journal

Meditation 1

In my first meditation for the DP, I decided to use a guided meditation where I walked deep into the forest and found my own personal grove. I had a pond that formed from a small stream from further up the hill and across the way I had placed my axis mundi from a shamanic guided meditation I experienced the day after I learned this guided meditation. I entered a log cabin with a small front porch which is mentally designed for where I can interact with gods and goddesses. I then lit a fire in the fire place. I sat down in the rocking chair and faced the fire until I felt Cerridwen place her hand on my shoulder. Nothing really was said, but I could sense it was her. I told her how I was working on the ritual on behalf of the Welsh pantheon and I got the sense she was warmly appreciative. I stayed in the meditation for a bit longer after she disappeared.

Meditation 2

While out at the graveyard, I meditated by performing the guided meditation to return to the location of my log building in the woods in my personal grove. I lit the fire and relaxed in the chair. Again, Cerridwen placed her hand on my right shoulder and told me that “the magic will happen” in regards to the ritual I was writing on behalf of the Welsh pantheon. I then moved over to the desk in the hut and imagined pulling out a quill and ink well which translated what I wrote into a computer screen energetically. I also experimented with stopping the guided meditation halfway through my writing in the cabin, so that I could still feel her presence and her hand on my shoulder until I went to sleep and closed out the guided meditation. so that I could be inspired by her presence and the Awen she brought. Very fascinating to feel her hand on my shoulder until I ended the ritual.

Meditation 3

I again meditated by using the guided meditation to return to the cabin. I expected Cerridwen to return and let me know how she and the Welsh pantheon felt about the ritual, but instead I felt the presence of Mimir who told me to use wisdom in a challenge that has entered my life and also Cernunnos who wanted me to keep listening for him in the sounds of nature and all around. I got the feeling he wants me to pay more attention to nature so I can get a better sense of him.

Meditation 4 — The Two Powers Meditation

I hunted down Rev. Ian Corrigan’s YouTube recording of the guided meditation. It felt calming and I felt some energy shifting around, but not too much at this point of experimenting with this particular meditation variation.

Meditation 5 — The Two Powers Meditation Again

I listened to Ian Corrigan’s Two Powers meditation on YouTube again as a guiding voice for my meditation. Something I realized that I hadn’t the previous time is that there were segments I didn’t remember hearing before in the meditation. I don’t know if I previously drifted off or if it just didn’t register with me, but I did hear things the second time around I hadn’t before. This time I noticed it took effect faster and I did feel some energy shifting, so that was fascinating to experience.

Meditation 6 — Two Powers Meditation

Tried the two powers meditation again. I think I had a breakthrough with the visualization. The images of the cooling water coming up through my roots gave me the feeling that it was slowly rising in me and the energy from the star mingled with the water to give a good sparkling, golden water lighting me up with its reflections throughout my body. Very cool experience.

Meditation 7

Before when listening to Rev. Corrigan’s two powers YouTube recording, I’ve been energized, but this time it felt more refreshing and grounding. I felt rather peaceful and balanced this time. I could also feel the energy of the imagery flowing through me better than before—the feeling of the water slowly pouring in through the roots sent into the ground for the feet as well as the glowing star energy as it came in and mingled together. I think my ability to visualize my meditations has gotten stronger due to this work.

Meditation 8

Did another two powers meditation. I calmed when doing the meditation, but also felt connected again. The mental imagery was stronger and more real, but as I stated, I didn’t feel energized or empowered, just more calm and balanced.

Meditation 9

I tried going back to a simple counting the breaths meditation. My mind was all over the place and kept going back to aspects of the campaign I’m doing for city council. Very hard to focus, but I guess it makes sense.

Meditation 10

Did the counting breaths meditation. Went well.

Meditation 11

Did the two powers meditation again. It was extremely easy to do the visualization and felt very at peace and calmed again, but also balanced and grounded.

Meditation 12

Tried a new meditation which is designed to help with visualization. It ended up working out pretty well. It is based around not just sight, but touch, taste, and smell. When the meditation had me cut a lemon, I could hear it cutting through it in my mind, and could faintly smell it, and my mouth didn’t taste the lemon, but my mouth reacted as if I had tasted a sour lemon. I could also feel the texture of the lemon against my fingertips. There was also an ice cream exercise which I could almost experience.

Meditation 13

Tried the same visualization meditation again. I think things were a bit more vivid this time. Same taste experience and other sensory experiences, but afterwards, it was able to visualize the touch, smell, and visual elements of a number of objects just as an exercise after the meditation part was over.

Meditation 14

Tried the visualization meditation again. It was easy and didn’t get too much out of it that I hadn’t experienced last time. Will move on to another type next time.

Meditation 15

Went with the counting my breaths meditation. Noticed that if I’m not already calm and centered BEFORE starting to meditate, it’s much more difficult to focus on my meditation in the first place. Took a while to really be able to properly count my breaths.

Meditation 16

Made sure I was in the right mindspace before meditating via counting my breaths. Focus worked out really well and the meditation was smooth. Was able to calm and focus easily this time.

Meditation 17

Went with the counting my breaths meditation. Noticed that if I’m not already calm and centered BEFORE starting to meditate, it’s much more difficult to focus on my meditation in the first place. Took a while to really be able to properly count my breaths.

Meditation 18

Went with my mentally guided meditation on going to my personal meditative grove. Ended up coming up with a TON of thoughts for my spring equinox ritual and jotting them down. Stopped with that meditation and counted breaths instead so I could just clear my mind. That went well, but the guided meditation that I tried and failed ended up helping me a LOT with my ideas for the spring equinox ritual.

Meditation 17

I went back to the Two Powers meditation and my visualization of the process was easy and very detailed. Feeling-wise, I didn’t quite get any strong feelings like I have in the past, so I imagine today’s meditation was more cerebral than experiential.

Meditation 18

Did the Two Powers meditation. As usual, the imagery and experience was vivid, but nothing really energetically happened experientially–just really detailed imagining of the meditation.

Meditation 19

Did the two powers meditation, but without Rev. Corrigan’s YouTube link. It went by very quickly. At first, I struggled a bit with focus, but was able to do the visualization with little to no problem.

Meditation 20

I included the two powers meditation in the ritual I performed and it went well. Someone who does a lot of shamanic type work said she really enjoyed the meditation and pointed out (which I agreed with) that once you get used to doing it a lot, it can come faster and easier. Other than that, I did a slow-mind clearing breathing exercise the night after the Saturday ritual (my usual counting breaths meditation) which went a bit tough due to still being scrambled from the attempted clearing of the house and the ritual which I hadn’t written.

Doing it standing up does make a huge difference in what it feels like with the energy building slowly up and then slowly descending. Felt very different.

Meditation 21

Did a self-guided two powers meditation and it went fast and easy. Can probably do the whole thing by myself in about 5 minutes instead of the 10 minutes the Rev. Corrigan version was like. With practice, the visualization gets easier and easier.

Meditation 22

I performed a version of the Two Powers meditation from memory. I was laying down which meant the cooling, grounding water slowly rose from my back and backside up towards my chest and front side. I find it fascinating to imagine the light from the heavens filtering through the dark, cooling waters like sunbeams streaming through the water. It’s also fascinating to imagine the trapped light swirling and mixing into the dark water. It was quick and easy to do.

Meditation 23

I did the Two Powers meditation mixed in with performing my offerings to the gods, ancestors, and nature spirits. It’s become easy to envision, do, and feel powered up. Definitely a muscle that improves with use.

Meditation 24

I did the Two Powers meditation again with my private worship. It definitely helps ground and empower me. I’m finding that it’s helpful if I need to do any work to perform such a meditation.

Meditation 25

I performed a personal ritual and used the Two Powers meditation to get me in the right frame and power of mind. Came quickly and the imagery was vivid. It’s easy to see how this empowers my ritual work–I could really sense the three pillars of the cosmos after creating them.

Meditation 26

I did the Two Powers meditation with the grove when doing the spring equinox ritual I wrote. I emphasized the people being like a tree and the feelings and imagery associated with it. Had a lot of people tell me the meditation was powerful and some had forgotten tree memories resurface about a special tree in their life.

Meditation 27

I performed the Two Powers meditation through my doing an offering for my personal patrons. It’s definitely happening faster and with more power to it. I do feel it helps with rituals in getting people into the right mindset and energy level.

Meditation 28

My meditation was through a ritual the senior druid of the grove came up with connecting the blue moon with the flame of a candle and meditating on the meanings of rare occurrences in our lives like the blue moon. It was an okay meditation.

Meditation 29

I did a simple counting breaths meditation. I wasn’t as scattered as I normally am when doing it, so possibly all the meditation work is paying off.

Meditation 30

I did a simple counting breaths meditation. I wasn’t as scattered as I normally am when doing it, so possibly all the meditation work is paying off.

Meditation 31

Before a heathen funeral that I wrote and performed for someone I had never met, I did the Two Powers meditation. It went very quickly and I think helped me really connect energetically with my funeral rite and even moved a number of Christians in attendance. I think the grounding and empowering aspects of the meditation helped. It also helped that, with all the practice I’ve done, I was able to quickly do the meditation.

Meditation 32

I tried a sensory deprivation tank for the first time ever. I think because I had been meditating for such a long time, I didn’t have any mindblowing experiences. Instead, I felt really grounded in my body and in tune with my breath as I floated along. It was truly relaxing and I was so centered, that I was impressed.

Meditation 33

I helped lead a heathen blot for Walpurgisnacht on May 5th. Before doing so, I meditated using the two powers meditation to get fully centered and empowered. I was able to do it quickly and I was told that the blot was powerful and people could sense my energy as I performed my part.

Meditation 34

On May 12th, I performed an ausa vatni for a heathen friend’s newly born daughter. Before performing the ritual, I did the two powers meditation to center myself. It was a strange experience because I felt like I was detached and along for the ride during the ritual, but people told me it was a powerful ritual. After the ritual was over, I went to pour the remaining well water out for the gods, goddess, nearby nature spirits, and ancestors–I could feel the power of the gesture and got goosebumps as I did so as if they were so appreciative of my gesture.

Meditation 35

I did a simple counting breaths meditation to clear my mind after a stressful day on Sunday. It’s nice to be able to quickly clear away the various thoughts thanks to my meditation practice.

Meditation 36

Went again with the basic counting breaths meditation since I didn’t have any ritual or blot to prepare for. Struggled a bit as my mind was busy with stressors of the day. Did eventually calm things down enough to do a full counting cycle.